


We Bury the Sunlight

by rd1989



Series: We Bury the Sunlight: A Cullen Rutherford/Female Inquisitor Romance [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rd1989/pseuds/rd1989
Summary: Hello/hi/welcome!So, I recently did yet another play through of Dragon Age: Inquisition (on nightmare mode because coronavirus lockdown seemed the perfect time to sit in my pyjamas all day shouting at the TV) and despite telling myself I would do it differently this time, I ended romancing the same character as I always do - Commander Cully Wully.I adore Dragon Age to teeny, tiny pieces and have spent so many hours of my life falling in love with everything that Thedas has to offer (except Goldanna - I will never love Goldanna) and I thought it was about time that I take all of that love and adoration and put it into a story of my own.So here it is - We Bury the Sunlight: A Female Trevelyan/Cullen Rutherford story. The title is inspired by a line from a song called Failure by one of my favourite bands, Breaking Benjamin. To me, this title has so many different meanings that I hope become clearer with time.There are some differences between my story and the narrative of the games. There are some changes to Cullen's life prior to him taking up the Commander mantle. He is still overwhelmingly Cullen but the thread I wove in my brain just took some liberties with the established story. My female Trevelyan - Evie - is a part of the Inquisition before Cullen and her backstory is also slightly different. A few of the inner circle are already in residence at the beginning of the story (because who doesn't need more Dorian Pavus?). There are flashbacks in a lot of the chapters but I will make these clearly distinguishable. I will also use some chapters to write from another perspective when I want to show another side of the story - again, i will make this change obvious. Off the bat, this is a slow build. Sometimes love takes its time but that doesn't mean that it isn't love at first sight.As a side note, I will never claim to know everything that there is to know about the Dragon Age lore. Thedas is a big ass place with a lot of history and as much as I would love to be able to recite the Chant of Light back to front and inside out, I can't. This means that my story encapsulates my understanding of the world and my take on what I know. Yes, I probably have got some of it wrong but if it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother you.I'll also list music that I listened to when writing the chapter at the start of each one. Music is a big part of writing for me and I'll often have ideas for chapters when I listen to songs (full disclosure: I am that person who listens to a song and imagines that it would feature in the soundtrack of my life).I'd love feedback - constructive or otherwise (just don't be mean - life is way too short). This is a WIP and as much as I'd love to say I'll update every week, that may not be realistic! I promise I'll never leave it longer than 2 weeks between updates.So this is it! I hope you enjoy :)
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford/Female Trevelyan, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford
Series: We Bury the Sunlight: A Cullen Rutherford/Female Inquisitor Romance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704199





	We Bury the Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> Hello/hi/welcome!
> 
> So, I recently did yet another play through of Dragon Age: Inquisition (on nightmare mode because coronavirus lockdown seemed the perfect time to sit in my pyjamas all day shouting at the TV) and despite telling myself I would do it differently this time, I ended romancing the same character as I always do - Commander Cully Wully.
> 
> I adore Dragon Age to teeny, tiny pieces and have spent so many hours of my life falling in love with everything that Thedas has to offer (except Goldanna - I will never love Goldanna) and I thought it was about time that I take all of that love and adoration and put it into a story of my own.
> 
> So here it is - We Bury the Sunlight: A Female Trevelyan/Cullen Rutherford story. The title is inspired by a line from a song called Failure by one of my favourite bands, Breaking Benjamin. To me, this title has so many different meanings that I hope become clearer with time.
> 
> There are some differences between my story and the narrative of the games. There are some changes to Cullen's life prior to him taking up the Commander mantle. He is still overwhelmingly Cullen but the thread I wove in my brain just took some liberties with the established story. My female Trevelyan - Evie - is a part of the Inquisition before Cullen and her backstory is also slightly different. A few of the inner circle are already in residence at the beginning of the story (because who doesn't need more Dorian Pavus?). There are flashbacks in a lot of the chapters but I will make these clearly distinguishable. I will also use some chapters to write from another perspective when I want to show another side of the story - again, i will make this change obvious. Off the bat, this is a slow build. Sometimes love takes its time but that doesn't mean that it isn't love at first sight. 
> 
> As a side note, I will never claim to know everything that there is to know about the Dragon Age lore. Thedas is a big ass place with a lot of history and as much as I would love to be able to recite the Chant of Light back to front and inside out, I can't. This means that my story encapsulates my understanding of the world and my take on what I know. Yes, I probably have got some of it wrong but if it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother you. 
> 
> I'll also list music that I listened to when writing the chapter at the start of each one. Music is a big part of writing for me and I'll often have ideas for chapters when I listen to songs (full disclosure: I am that person who listens to a song and imagines that it would feature in the soundtrack of my life).
> 
> I'd love feedback - constructive or otherwise (just don't be mean - life is way too short). This is a WIP and as much as I'd love to say I'll update every week, that may not be realistic! I promise I'll never leave it longer than 2 weeks between updates.
> 
> So this is it! I hope you enjoy :)

** 9:41 Dragon, Haven **

Had it always been so _green?_

"Does it hurt?" Cassandra sounded concerned. When I'd first met her, her tone had lingered between mildly pissed off and completely unbothered by my entire existence. Concern? That was a new one though. I can't say that it was entirely welcomed. It's not that I didn't like Cassandra - I actually adored her and found her _fascinating_ \- it's just that I was getting tired of seeing some people looking at me with sad, piteous eyes like I was made of glass. When I'd joined the Inquisition, I'd worked hard on the image that I portrayed to others. I wanted people to see that I was tough, dependable, trustworthy - people had respected that and people had respected me. Now though? Now half the population felt sorry for me and the other half hated my guts. Cassandra hadn't moved from her position behind the war table but her eyes were now fixed on me intently and her mouth was tight and grim. She watched me as if she were ready to run to my aid should I suddenly keel over in unimaginable agony. To her credit, I probably shouldn't have pretended to faint all those times after it first happened because now she watched me like a hawk and didn't seem to believe that I was actually fine.

_It._

Four weeks in and I still wasn't really sure how to classify what had happened. Most people called it an explosion or rather _the _explosion because it was the only one that mattered anymore. Rodrick was still _loudly _referring to it as murder and glaring at me every chance he got like I was the only suspect in the entire World. The fact that I'd tried to close it didn't really matter to him or several of his colleagues. I was an abomination to them and I was convinced that I was going to wake up with him hovering above me with a knife one of these days. Still, I couldn't really complain. I was still here when plenty of better people weren't and now some people were calling me the Herald of Andraste. Other people were calling me a whole host of other, less savoury names that Josephine wouldn't let me repeat. The strangest part was that people now seemed to look to me for answers which was hilarious given that I had a predilection towards answering everything sarcastically much to Josephine's chagrin and ongoing disappointment. Most importantly, I _mattered _now. On paper, this was everything that I had always wanted. Except the green hand. That, I could do without. 

"Only when I laugh." I smiled at her playfully.

Cassandra rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. "I don't know why I bother. I won't ask again."

_She would._

"Now, there's no need to be like that Cass, I'm just joking with you." I stood up and brushed myself down. "It doesn't hurt. It did at first but now it's just..." I wiggled my fingers. "_There."_ I moved beside her. "Does it look greener to you or have I just been drinking too much with the Chargers?"

"You should ask Solas to look at it to make sure." She reached out as if she were going to touch my palm but yanked her hand back before her fingertips made contact with the skin. I was used to this by now. People were fascinated by the glowing green scar on my hand but none of them wanted to touch it, lest they become infected too. 

Consciously, I put both hands flat against the War Table and lent forward. "Absolutely not. He's about three more visits away from just cutting the hand off, attaching it to his necklace and disappearing into the night. Honestly, I'm just a big walking hand as far as he's concerned. I talk to him and he gets this _look _on his face like he'd rather be anywhere else but then I show him my hand and suddenly we're best friends." I paused. "Do you think that he would cackle as he ran away? He doesn't strike me as a cackler. He's more sombre, don't you think? Like, he'd wait until it was raining really heavily and then he'd stand and brood in the distance."

"That upsets you that people are interested in the mark?"

"Well, it's just that I'd rather be known for my fantastic arse than my glowing hand." I shrugged. 

"Of course you would."

"I worked hard to make it look like this."

She looked at me incredulously. "No, you didn't."

"You're right, I didn't but still... a little bit of appreciation wouldn't go amiss." I looked up at the sound of footsteps outside the door. "It would be nice if people realised there was a great arse attached to the hand." I paused. "Not directly attached thought because that would be absolutely terrifying. Could you imagine? Just having a hand sticking out of your arse? Wow. Could you imagine slapping somebody with your butt hand though? Maker, that would be fun."

"You need to stop spending time with Sera."

The door to the War Room swung open and Leliana and Josephine sauntered into the room. "Finally!" I exclaimed. "Cassandra won't stop talking about my arse even though I begged her to stop." I looked at Josephine. "Your note said that you had something to discuss? I'm really hoping it's the news that we've all been waiting for - I'm getting my own statue in Val Royeaux? A huge one right in the centre where I can look down at everybody in disgust. The snarl will need to be modelled on Cassandra's though. Mine isn't scary enough yet. Cassandra's could melt the skin off your face if you looked at her for long enough."

Josephine laughed breathlessly. I loved Josephine's laugh. She was always so measured and reserved that she had a tendency to look annoyed but her laugh lit up her whole face and made her even more beautiful. "I'm sure it will be any day now!" 

"The sculptor will want to pay extra attention to her arse, it's the thing that she's most proud of." Cassandra smirked at me.

"With good reason." Leliana said.

"Flirt." I nudged her with my elbow. "It's not true what they say about you. You are actually very nice when you want to be."

_"Who _says I'm not nice?"

"Commander Suffolk mostly." I was suddenly very aware that our illustrious Commander wasn't in the room. "Did you kill him? I know you've threatened it for a while but I never thought you'd actually do it. He wasn't _that _bad just a bit useless."

"I wish." She huffed. "Josie won't let me. She keeps telling me 'niceness before knives, Leliana!' it's infuriating."

I had to give it to the Spymaster, her impression of our Ambassador was spot on. Josephine rolled her eyes at the imitation.

"With good reason!" Cassandra interjected. "Our soldiers need a Commander and you can't just kill off _everybody _that doesn't like you."

"Why not?"

"He was making up rhymes again in the tavern last night." I laughed. "He's now rhyming Leliana with banana. It's very impressive if you take into account how drunk he is at the time. You do not want to know the context and what the banana represents though."

"I told Flissa not to serve him anymore!" Leliana growled. "What kind of Commander spends his whole day propping up the bar? He is not fit to lead anything, let alone the Inquisition's Army!" Her face suddenly darkened. "Though, nobody would suspect anything if I got one of my scouts to slip something into his drink."

"No murder!" Cassandra shouted.

"Or maybe, he could have an accidental fall one evening?" I said. "Bash his head on a rock? Or maybe a light drowning?"

"Yes!" Leliana turned to me with bright eyes. "Everybody knows how drunk he gets! It's the perfect plan!"

"Team Murder!" I jeered. 

"I can't believe that _you _are Andraste's chosen. The Maker has a funny sense of humour."

"Ladies! I have a solution to the Suffolk problem!" Josephine shouted. "In fact, it's why I called you here so if we could all just stop talking about murder-" She shot a pointed look at me. "-I can tell you the news!"

"_Josephine is oh so mean... Sister Nightingale spins a wicked tale." _ i hummed to myself.

"Yes, quite." Josephine smoothed her skirts down as she spoke. " I have received an a letter from somebody who has expressed interest at joining the Inquisition. Given his past experience, the Commander role would suit him perfectly but he knows that Suffolk is in place here and doesn't want to step on any toes."

"Assuming I leave Suffolk's toes attached after I've murdered him." Leliana growled.

"That's... kind of weird." I looked at her. "Why would you need his toes? Do you eat them?"

"No murder!" Josephine admonished her. "We can pay Suffolk to leave - he already has titles and lands that he could retire to but we need to make the deal a bit sweeter for him in order to facilitate his exit."

"I think we should tell him that Leliana is about three days away from killing him." I said. "That would make me leave. I wouldn't even stop to pack anything, I would literally just run away and wouldn't stop running ever again because you just know she'd find you eventually." I looked at the Spymaster. "Please don't ever try and kill me."

"No promises." She smirked.

"Shocking." Cassandra snorted.

"I know you're secretly team murder, Cass. I can see it in your eyes." I grinned at her.

"You've spent too much time with Dorian." She huffed.

"There is absolutely no such thing as 'too much time' with Dorian." I retorted.

"LADIES!" Josephine looked flustered. "I have already started the arrangements for a sum of money to be transferred to Suffolk's estates and I am happy to deliver the news of his termination to him directly."

Leliana, Cassandra and I all looked at her. "So, what are we here to discuss then?" I asked.

"His replacement." Josephine said. "I believe that -"

"-This new person may not be the right fit for us." Leliana cut her off. "We can't have another Suffolk in our ranks because I won't be so nice to the next one."

"You weren't nice to this one." Cassandra muttered.

"Obviously, we all have to agree that he is the correct person to take on the role, Leliana, but I have a very good feeling about him. He also has ties to the Templars so could solve the problem of neither faction wanting to engage with us about the breach." Josephine said. "I have agreed that we will ride to meet him before formally offering him the position but I just know that he will be the right person for the job."

"Good work Josephine." I smiled at her. "Well, if that's all... I should probably be going." I walked towards the door. Conversations like these seemed to have little to do with me and I trusted the three women enough to know that they would make sure the forces were in good hands.

"You are expected to be there." Josephine told me. "In fact, he has specifically requested that he meet you."

"Oh good. Another person wants to gawk at my hand." I sighed. "What time do we leave?"

"Tomorrow morning at first light - we have a full day's ride ahead of us so I hope you won't spend the entire evening drinking and playing Wicked Grace with Varric because you need to show your best self tomorrow. I have already informed Horsemaster Dennett. The four of us will take a small retinue of guards. You can also extend the invitation to three of your inner circle as I know that you like to travel with them should there be any incidents."

"Ignoring the comment about my best self..." I pulled a face. "Why is it always three?"

"Two is too few, four is too many." Leliana shrugged.

"Please choose wisely." Josephine said. "We don't want another diplomatic incident because Sera gets bored."

"She swears that the Duke set himself on fire."

"Of course she does." Cassandra mumbled.

"You don't want to know anything else?" Josephine asked.

I shrugged. "No, I trust the three of you to make the best decision for the Inquisition. I'm just the face." I paused. "Or the hand."

"Or the arse." Cassandra shot a look at me, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Stop flirting with me Cassandra." I laughed.

I made my way across the room to collect the samples that I needed to take to Minaeve on my way back to the main camp. I know that she would fizz with excitement when she saw the talons.

"I'd like a name Josie. I can see if I have any information in past reports."

"I expected no less Leliana." Josephine laughed. "His name is Cullen Rutherford. He is the Arl of Honnleath."

And just like that, the world disappeared from beneath me and my hands met with the cold stone of the floor.

"Herald!!" Cassandra rushed to my side. She pulled me up forcefully. "Are you okay? Is it the mark?"

"Its... no... it's... I'm fine." I brushed myself down. "I just fell." I attempted to laugh but the sound stuck in my throat. 

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Leliana was peering at me from beneath her hood. "Do you recognise the name? Have you met him before?"

I thought about the last time that I had seen him and a wave of sadness flooded through me. Of all the people to make contact with the Inquisition. Why him? I straightened myself up. "Define... met." I said uneasily.

"Maker, you haven't slept with him have you?" Cassandra cried.

"No! I didn't sleep with him..." I paused. "Thought about it _a lot _but never actually did it. Slept next to him plenty of times though."

"There's a story here isn't there?" Josephine was looking at me.

"No..." I protested loudly, my voice squeaking. The three women looked at me with deadpan faces. Cassandra was snarling which was never a good sign. "Well yes, but it's not one that I'm keen to relive." I paused. "Does he know that I'm the Herald?"

"It's not like we published your name or anything." Leliana scoffed. "But you've been in the Hinterlands - people have met you so news could have reached him I suppose." She looked at me coolly. "You know that I can find out what happened, don't you?"

We all knew how far her reach extended. Leliana had secrets on top of secrets buried in her belongings. My past dalliances weren't out of her grasp by any means.

"It's a long story and we have a full day's ride ahead of us tomorrow so I think-"

"-Will he be happy to see you or not?" Cassandra cut me off.

I pictured myself, standing outside the gates, rain soaking me to the bone. My mind was made up but that didn't mean that I wasn't heartbroken.

"No." I said quietly. "I don't think he will be."

"If this could hurt you or the Inquisition, then we need to know." Cassandra told me. She'd stopped snarling at least which was a relief.

Wordlessly, Leliana walked to the door. I heard her asking the guard to fetch strong ale from Flissa. "Nobody is to disturb us. Tell my agents to report to Flynn if there's anything urgent." She looked back at me. "Ask Flissa for wine too.

"And food, if possible!" Josephine called. "I haven't eaten all day and I'm famished."

The three of them started to re-arrange the room to make it more comfortable. Not that it helped really. I felt sick at the thought of telling my story - _our story - _to them, but I supposed that it was the right thing to do. If I had to see Cullen again tomorrow, I'd need somebody to stop me from falling apart. 

A few moments later, Flissa appeared at the door with bottles, casks and tankards. "Is there a party I don't know about?" She sang cheerfully as she rearranged her wares on the table.

"Something like that." I mumbled. "Thanks Flissa."

Leliana waited until the Barmaid had left before she spoke again. "Are you feeling okay, Herald?"

"Not really." I smiled weakly. "But this will probably be very cathartic for me." I sighed and took the mug that Cassandra was holding out to me. "The first thing that you need to know is that I haven't told anybody about any of this." I drank deeply. "The second is that this isn't some sordid little story full of ripping bodices and all of that crap, sorry to disappoint Cassandra."

"Ha ha, very funny." She shot me a look.

"Just take your time, Evie." Josephine smiled at me. "We have all evening."

I nodded at her. "So, I suppose that I should start at the beginning."


End file.
